The Fruit of a Cold Day

So, yesterday was cold. The first real cold day we've had so far this year. Consequently, the night before, A Christmas Story was shown on TV. Someone on the bus had the idea that it would be a good idea to tell my 5-year-old son of the good idea it is to stick your tongue to a frozen pole.

I got a call at work at about 9am. The boy needed picking up.

When I showed up, he was crying hysterically. His mouth was full of blood and his tongue looked bruised, except for the tip which looked like a chunk was out of it.

We went to the doctor. The same one we've been to for stiches, stiches removal, ear infection, and now this--all in the past 5 weeks or so. I think they are dedicating a new wing to my son early in the new year.

Of course, there was nothing the doc could do except give him some pain reliever, oh, and a pop sickle. Go figure, the boy wanted something else that was freezing cold in his mouth after that experience, and even ate another 3 after we got home.

By the time I went back to work he seemed fine and was eating pizza now that the bleeding had stopped over an hour later. This morning it looked almost as good as new.

Now, if I could just figure out who put him up to it. I have a feeling it was his friend who got spooked and left him there alone stuck to the pole once he got scared. Just like in the movie.

Bad Tooth Fairy, Bad Fairy

So, Sunday night my 5 year old lost his first tooth. He was so excited for the tooth fairy to come to our house for the first time ever. We put his little, first, baby tooth under The Good Fairy--a statue from the 1917(?) World's Fair that was used in my grandmother's, mother's, my, and now our home for the same purpose of safeguarding the children's teeth until the "real" Good Fairy could spirit them away while leaving them a present in exchange.

When he woke up yesterday morning, he ran to the Good Fairy to find she had forgotten to come. My wife scrambled.

"We just moved the Good Fairy yesterday when we were decorating for Christmas didn't we? Perhaps she had a hard time finding it."

I got in on the action. "Also, it was stormy last night. Perhaps she had a hard time getting everywhere. She's probably just a little late."

Our speculations proved true. The Tooth Fairy did come that day--while my boy was at school and while mom was at the store. I knew she didn't forget.

Chesno Good Business

Golden Corral restaurants have been giving out free meals to Veterans on the Monday after Veteran's Day for some time now. Since 2001, they have given away more than 1,230,960 meals. Last year, I partook in my first one. It was busy, but they also sold a meal to my wife and son they otherwise wouldn't have.

I'm not saying everyone should give veterans things for free just to sell to their family who wouldn't have patronized their store otherwise. I really feel that Golden Corral is doing it because they feel it is a good way they can honour vets. As proof of this too, they have raised $1,393,883 for the Disabled American Veterans Organization. This is the type of organization I prefer to patronize--those who give back and support real American values.

So, visit your local Golden Corral and tell them you support and appreciate their efforts to feed and honour veterans. Just, maybe tonight isn't the night to do it--the line will be long and you'll have to wait at the grill behind me.

Chesno Vote

Today is election and at about 7:50am or so I voted. I listened to the advice of my cousin and voted for people, not parties.

Now, at the polls I did not encounter:

1) Lawyers ensuring everything was going as planned.
2) Bribes of underwear, or Top Ramen to get out and vote.
3) Long lines.
4) Incompetent poll workers.
5) Any voter fraud at all.

It was smooth and easy. I hope the rest of the country finds the same. Although, with some already calling voter fraud in the days BEFORE election day, this may even get uglier than it already has.

(Ahmed) Best Halloween Costume Ever . . . Chesno!

Here it is 2006--7 years after The Phantom Menace hit the screen, and last night I saw a child wearing a costume of the amazingly stupid Jar Jar Binks.

I was blown away. Of course, I don't blame the child. I'm sure his parent found it at the local Goodwill for a quarter and told him he was being Jar Jar this Halloween. Oh, and if he didn't stop that crying, it would be next year too.

The child did have some sense though. He had the plastic "face" mask. You know, the kind that was all the rage in the 1950s through 1980s that didn't pull down over your head, but were held on by a thin piece of white elastic around the back of your head. So, instead of actually wearing the mask on his face, he pulled it up on top of his head like a hat. Smart boy.

I made sure I gave him a fun-sized Abba Zaba for his trouble.

For those of you who need the Jar Jar costume, look here, here, and for the deluxe mask, here. The last one is worth looking at just because you get an idea of what the disembodied head of Jar Jar would look like.

Chesno Thanksgiving(?)

Yes, Thanksgiving! The whole world doesn't revolve around the US and it's holidays (but pretty much).

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada. Last year I spent it with my wife and son at the family cottage on the lake in Central Ontario. It was a wonderful time of good eats, fun with family, cutting down trees that would treaten buildings should they come down during winter, hauling in the docks, teasing the beavers, and going on hikes.

Simply wonderful. I hope they are having a great time despite not having my family there this year. I will celebrate nonetheless at home with at least a pumpkin pie. I did make sure to fly "Old Leafy" below "Old Glory" this morning in honour of the holiday.

Babi Yar 65 years later

As someone who was fully-engrossed in Ukrainian culture from my 2 years living there, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that today is the 65th anniversary of the massacre of Babi Yar.

When I lived there in the mid 90s I spoke with a man who remembered seeing the first German tanks drive into Kiev on September 19th, 1941. What he didn't know then was that a terrible massacre of Jewish Ukrainians would take place 10 days later.

On the 28th, a decree was sent around saying:

"All Jews living in the city of Kiev and its vicinity are to report by 8 o'clock on the morning of Monday, September 29, 1941, to the corner of Melnikovsky and Dokhturov Streets (near the cemetery). They are to take with them documents, money, valuables, as well as warm clothes, underwear, etc. Any Jew not carrying out this instruction and who is found elsewhere will be shot. Any civilian entering flats evacuated by Jews and stealing property will be shot."

Most Jews simply thought they would be loaded onto trains and deported for awhile. What really happened was, they were ordered to undress, beaten, had their property stolen, and were led to the edge of Babi Yar gorge and shot. At least 33,771 were killed 65 years ago today and tomorrow. In only 2 days.

There is much more to know about Babi Yar than I wrote and the links here can fill in the blanks. Prepare to be horrified as you read of the clean up effort (towards the bottom of the page and in more detail elsewhere), and escape of the prisoners who had to do the work to cover up what the Nazis did at Babi Yar. Perhaps the best page of links is here.

Thankfully, this is how I knew Babi Yar. Memorial garden with monuments. The Russian word for monument is pommyatnik. The root word is from the verb: to remember. May we all remember what was done at Babi Yar and never let it happen again whether in Europe, the Middle East, Africa, or Heaven-forbid, here in North America.

Stupid Bees

So, I may go and gas the bees after all. Sure, I've been able to steal a boatload of honey from them this year, but when you get stung in the eye, honey seems like no big deal.

It all happened tonight when I went to steal more honey. Things were going alright, but I was getting buzzed quite a bit. I know better than to open up a hive when it is cold, overcast, approaching bedtime, and at this time of year the bees are extra protective of their honey.

They got me, and I learned a lesson. Doesn't mean I'll change the way I do things. Did I really learn anything?

**UPDATE: When I woke this morning the swelling was even worse and my eye was so totally swollen shut you couldn't even see my eye lashes. It is going down now, but the doctor said that he couldn't do anything about it. Hopefully, it doesn't impact my job interview tomorrow, or my drive down to my 2-week Army training.

Chesno Changes

So, today is a watershed day in the Ashton home. Our son is attending his first day of kindergarten as I type.

My wife took him to school this morning, but tomorrow our neighbor, the bus driver, will pick him up, and her grandson (my son's best friend), and he will begin his daily adventure for real on to school.

Life has changed already because of this. Beginning this week I will be attending a 2-week-long Army leadership school. My wife planned on spending a week of time with her family while I was away. We then realized: Turner has school! Wow, that's new!

There is also something psychological about sending your first born (not including the dog), off to school for the first day. I don't feel melancholy per se, but there is just something different there . . .

Brigette Ann Esposito

I'm sorry this is over two weeks late after 9/11. I was on duty with the Army and was unable to complete it while away. I still want to get this up and published though as Project 2,996 is now a permenant tribute to those fallen on September 11, 2001.

Brigette Ann Esposito was age 34 on September 11, 2001. She was killed at World Trade Center where she worked as a consultant at Marsh & McLennan Cos. Inc. World Trade Center, Tower 2, on the 94th floor. She was a resident of New York City, N.Y. (USA).

A memorial guestbook has been set up by those who love her.

There, her neice said of her,

"Its unfair that we all cant hear your laugh again, see your smile, recieve your advice, and just be in your presence."

Another poster said,

"This year I am concentrating on having known Bridget instead of the loss of her, her smile, her laughter, her loving ways, her wise words and strong opinions - we miss talking with you but we are so glad we got to know you."

Her good friend summed up everyone's thoughts with this:

"We all miss you every day. We are so much better having known you."

More loving words for Brigette can be found here and a CNN tribute here.

We won't ever forget. We won't let it happen again, and we will remember your spirit, love for live and family, and determination. Rest in Peace Brigette. Your friends and family love and remember you and will carry on your memory.

Brigette Ann Esposito

Chesno Dad

So, I'm not a new dad (my son is 5), but sometimes I feel like it.

Last weekend we went to Bear Lake and spent plenty of time on the water. My wife asked me to slather my boy up with sunscreen. When I got over to him, he was covered with sand, so what does a dad do? He just mixes all that sand and sunscreen together in a gloopey paste on his boy. Even worse, we realized the next day that I must have been concerned about getting any in his eyes because he had a big, lopsided, retangular sunburn mask across his eyes.

Dad strikes!

The next day was Sunday and I left church early because my brother was coming into town for just a short time. I needed to get some cleaning and food prep done, but I had brought the baby home with me. She was crying and time was getting short. I had her in the baby swing with the pacifier, but she wouldn't be settled. Then I had an idea. I spread a little corn syrup on the pacifier (at least I knew honey wasn't good for babies), and she took it like a charm. She was asleep in less than a minute, then I cleaned off her mouth so she didn't stick to my wife the next time she nursed.

Dad strikes again!

P.S. Honey, sorry you had to hear about this incident this way.

Chesno Purple Finger

I hope this doesn't come across as crude or in bad taste, but . . .

This is totally random. I saw a picture today of the purple-fingered Iraqis and it made me think of my childhood. As my friends and I were preparing to go overseas to serve 2-year missions, we had to get a full physical first. Part of that physical included a prostate exam.

We began renaming the exam: 1) The Jello Finger, or 2) The Goopey Finger. You also usually got "scrogged", but that is for another time.

When I saw the picture today, I thought, 3) The Purple Finger. Do a search for pictures online of purple-fingered Iraqis with this new frame of mind. You will be disturbed.

Chesno VJ

61 years ago (1945) today WWII ended with the surrender of Japan on VJ (Victory over Japan) Day. Have you heard anything about this today? No? Well, why not? This was the end of the biggest, most bloody, terrible war of our time. It signaled the beginning of soldiers using the GI Bill which brought expanded schooling, the suburbanization of America, and social and financial success to the middle class of America.

Do we not celebrate our success and the close of our sacrifices both at home and abroad because it is not PC to celebrate a victory over our now strong ally? I hope that isn't so. In any case, at least one state (and one alone), Rhode Island, celebrates "Victory Day" as a state holiday.

Chesno Maples

I have begun a new blog. I have found that as the year progresses, my yard becomes more productive, and I spend more and more time outside.

My new blog is called: Maple Acres and Spring Creek. Spring Creek is the area where we live and I have planted by hand several hundered maple trees. The name seemed appropriate.

There I will document what is going on in my hobby farm. Last week I had a huge onion, garlic, potato, and shallot harvest. This week I will harvest honey from my bees. There are tons of on-going projects--chicken coop construction, berry and grape trellis construction etc. There will always be something new to see.

Join me at Maple Acres at Spring Creek. I hope you enjoy reading a little bit about the place I love so much.

Chesno Elise

It's about time I write about this. It was 2 weeks ago today we went into the hospital expecting the arrival of our new baby girl.

Elise Madsen Ashton was born on 25 July 2006 at 12:31 am. She weighed 6 lbs. 14 oz. and was 19.5 inches long.

She and mom are doing great. We are loving having her in our family and are so happy.

Chesno Sugar Tits

Since rolling out of my weekend cave on Monday and learning what took place while hiding from the world, I can't get one question out of my head.

"What are you looking at Sugar Tits?"

In case you fell off the Earth, this is what the liquored up, anti-Semitic Mel Gibson asked his female arresting officer when he was found speeding on the PCH with an open bottle of hooch in his car.

Sugar Tits? Really? How did he come up with that? It has intrigued me for days. Clearly Mel doesn't only have issues with Jews, and authority figures, he also seems to have a problem disrespecting women.

Oh, and in case you can't get that question out of your head either, someone has put it and his mug shot on a T-shirt for you to buy. Geez, it's about time.

**UPDATE** I have since been informed by my wife and sister-in-law that the name "sugar tits" isn't something Mel made up on the fly, but something they've both heard before. How has this passed me by when other, more disguisting things have been revealed to me by my Army buddies?

Chesno Freedom! (aka Screw you HOA!)

My three readers will remember from last month when I spoke of the home owner's association Commies I had to deal with in Albuquerque that wouldn't let me put a flag pole up on my property.

Turns out I am not the only one who has had this problem. Evidently, enough people have been placed under the boot of their respective associations that legislation has drafted and passed. All it needs now is the President's signature.

CJ at http://www.soldiersperspective.us gives us the lowdown that:

"The act was conceived by Congressman Roscoe Bartlett, R-MD, in response to the many home-owners associations popping up across the country refusing to allow Americans to fly their flags on their own property.

U.S. House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) said: 'Every American should retain the right to display the American flag, the very symbol of freedom upon which our nation was founded. Rep. Bartlett should be commended for his leadership on this issue and his work to help preserve the core values of this great country.'”

Darn right. It's sad something like this has to be legislated.

Free eBooks? Chenso!

Have you ever heard of the World eBook Fair? I hadn't until today. They are the largest showcase for eBooks and are celebrating the 35th anniversary of the first step taken toward getting eBooks going.

They have 1/3 of a million eBooks, including mp3 audio books, and from July 4th - August 4th, all are entirely free. Normally this service only costs $8.95/year(cheap!), but this celebratory month, they are all free.

They also have a goal to have 1/2 million books by next year, 3/4 million books by summer 2008, and 1 million books by summer 2009.

Take advantage of this great service. I was able to find tons of books I would enjoy in pdf and mp3 formats.

Chesno Lesson

Q: Do you know what happens when you're a cheap bast***?
A: You end up getting a $3 haircut at a beauty school.

And, let me add that I was over charged for that cut.

You also get an optimistic stylist telling you, "See, you came in and left with a whole new look!"

That whole new look must have been pissedoffedness because I also left with a gift certificate for a free haircut.

Q #2: What is worse than a $3 haircut at a beauty school?
A #2: A free one when you didn't learn your lesson the first time.

Chesno Chai (Tea)

So, I'm going through a bit of a Christmas in July phase right now. Jenn can tell you I've been listening to moody Thanksgiving and Christmastime instrumental music (which I am doing right now at my desk).

Furthermore, in 90 degree (F) weather I got a hankerin' for a cup of peppermint tea (must be in Ukrainian you can't take out of me). So, I made up a cup and put in two generous teaspoons of homegrown honey I took from my bees last Thursday. I could nearly live on this . . . so good.