I'm a loser . . . chesno.
Last week featured two events that I totally blew off and forgot about until yesterday. Now I did remember them weeks prior, but just not on the actual day. However, I may be okay as each event involves someone in my life who already passed away, so they will probably forgive me.
On February 15th was the 10 year anniversary of the death of my mom. I can understand missing like year 3 or 6 or even that bastard year 4, but not 10. That's a milestone. Imagine me missing my 10 year wedding anniversary this October. Wouldn't be pretty.
Now, since my father remarried 6 months after my mother passed away, it hasn't really been something we've spoken of. I think with my older brother we've spoken on one year commemorating the event. It just isn't something we do in my family. Could have something to do with the fact that my younger siblings feel essentially abandoned since my fathers' marriage and haven't seen or spoken to him in over a year. Could be that in my childhood home there is not a single picture of my mom on the wall now commemorating the nearly 28 years of marriage and 4 children they had together. Perhaps it is because my step mom talks about my mom and her health problems that caused a lot of stress in the home and marriage as though she were there and that it can justify stifling nearly 3 decades of family tradition and bonds.
Ok Tom. Put that strong face back on.
I am able to put that strong face back on I think because I am a bit more separated from my mothers' death than my siblings. It happened while I was in the Ukraine--about three months before my return. When I came home I received a VHS tape of my moms funeral and a couple weeks later the news that dad was getting remarried. Didn't know he was even dating. Well, at least I still have that VHS tape although I've only watched it that one time. Perhaps it's time to watch it again and transfer it to DVD so my children know my mom. It's going to have to happen in my home, not the one of my childhood.
Last week featured two events that I totally blew off and forgot about until yesterday. Now I did remember them weeks prior, but just not on the actual day. However, I may be okay as each event involves someone in my life who already passed away, so they will probably forgive me.
On February 15th was the 10 year anniversary of the death of my mom. I can understand missing like year 3 or 6 or even that bastard year 4, but not 10. That's a milestone. Imagine me missing my 10 year wedding anniversary this October. Wouldn't be pretty.
Now, since my father remarried 6 months after my mother passed away, it hasn't really been something we've spoken of. I think with my older brother we've spoken on one year commemorating the event. It just isn't something we do in my family. Could have something to do with the fact that my younger siblings feel essentially abandoned since my fathers' marriage and haven't seen or spoken to him in over a year. Could be that in my childhood home there is not a single picture of my mom on the wall now commemorating the nearly 28 years of marriage and 4 children they had together. Perhaps it is because my step mom talks about my mom and her health problems that caused a lot of stress in the home and marriage as though she were there and that it can justify stifling nearly 3 decades of family tradition and bonds.
Ok Tom. Put that strong face back on.
I am able to put that strong face back on I think because I am a bit more separated from my mothers' death than my siblings. It happened while I was in the Ukraine--about three months before my return. When I came home I received a VHS tape of my moms funeral and a couple weeks later the news that dad was getting remarried. Didn't know he was even dating. Well, at least I still have that VHS tape although I've only watched it that one time. Perhaps it's time to watch it again and transfer it to DVD so my children know my mom. It's going to have to happen in my home, not the one of my childhood.
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