I was at drill this weekend and pulled from my normal duties by our acting First Sergeant. He told me that I needed to go and do a Post-deployment Medical Screening (PdMS). Basically, it is a chance for the doctors to hear your complaints about exposure to smoke from oil and trash fires, chemicals, or anything else that you may have run into while deployed overseas. Also, it is a chance for them to do a quick assessment for PTSD.
I have already been home for two-and-a-half years so I thought the whole thing was kind of bogus. But, a good soldier does what his First Sergeant says, so I went.
The psychologist from the VA started asking me questions for his assessment such as:
Have you had thoughts of harming yourself? NO.
Have you had thoughts of harming others? NO.
Do you have nightmares? NO.
Do you have trouble sleeping? NO.
Do you get easily frustrated? . . . yes.
Do you get angry faster than before your deployment? . . . yes [again].
Uh oh. I’m screwed up.
He explained that it is normal and not necessarily PTSD, but very common. You see, when soldiers go to Iraq or any combat zone they rely on other people. The actions of you and those around you have consequences. If someone does something stupid, someone could be hurt or killed.
When you come home you are still in this mindset. Small things like someone cutting me off and changing lanes in front of me on the road can set off my wild, cursing wrath where they are verbally torn up and down. Plainly said, what he did was stupid. Subconsciously what was said, this guy may have a car bomb and he got in close to me. Fortunately, there are two controls I have on this behavior.
1) I can stifle it when wife and kids are around. They have never heard such an outburst.
2) I have never had thoughts of escalating my frustration into road rage of any sort. Never even once considered acting on it. Berating the offender is enough.
We ended the “session” with him stating that he didn’t recommend I need to seek counseling. I think that was a correct assessment as I can control it. My work is now to control it more so that I don’t have those outbursts while alone and hopefully get to the point where I don’t even think those thoughts at all. I my not show my anger on the road to my family, but an increase in patience would likely be appreciated. Wish me luck.
I have already been home for two-and-a-half years so I thought the whole thing was kind of bogus. But, a good soldier does what his First Sergeant says, so I went.
The psychologist from the VA started asking me questions for his assessment such as:
Have you had thoughts of harming yourself? NO.
Have you had thoughts of harming others? NO.
Do you have nightmares? NO.
Do you have trouble sleeping? NO.
Do you get easily frustrated? . . . yes.
Do you get angry faster than before your deployment? . . . yes [again].
Uh oh. I’m screwed up.
He explained that it is normal and not necessarily PTSD, but very common. You see, when soldiers go to Iraq or any combat zone they rely on other people. The actions of you and those around you have consequences. If someone does something stupid, someone could be hurt or killed.
When you come home you are still in this mindset. Small things like someone cutting me off and changing lanes in front of me on the road can set off my wild, cursing wrath where they are verbally torn up and down. Plainly said, what he did was stupid. Subconsciously what was said, this guy may have a car bomb and he got in close to me. Fortunately, there are two controls I have on this behavior.
1) I can stifle it when wife and kids are around. They have never heard such an outburst.
2) I have never had thoughts of escalating my frustration into road rage of any sort. Never even once considered acting on it. Berating the offender is enough.
We ended the “session” with him stating that he didn’t recommend I need to seek counseling. I think that was a correct assessment as I can control it. My work is now to control it more so that I don’t have those outbursts while alone and hopefully get to the point where I don’t even think those thoughts at all. I my not show my anger on the road to my family, but an increase in patience would likely be appreciated. Wish me luck.
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