Global Warming Update #2

In the spirit of my January 24th entry I give you this . . .

Damn you global warming!!!

Separation

Yesterday I had the opportunity to separate church and state. I did not.

I was asked to give a 30 minute talk to about 75 first graders about what Christmas is like in Ukraine (where I lived for 2 years). Did you get that? What Christmas is like in Ukraine.

I began by teaching them how to greet people in Ukrainian at Christmastime. Translated in English it goes like this:

Me: "Boys and girls, Christ is born!"

They respond: "Glorify Him!"

Nice.

I made sure they knew the holy Christmas dinner began after the first star was seen to symbolize the Star of Bethlehem. Straw is spread around and on the table to remember Christ was born in a stable. And, an extra plate is placed on the table for Christ to partake should He come.

With all of the "Up on the rooftops . . . " and " I saw mommy kissing Santa Clauses" and "Frosty the Snowmans" that there should be some "Boh Prednivechnys" (God Eternal).

Vospetye Yevo! (Glorify Him!)

O Holy Crap!

I stole that title from Steve at the Sneeze.com [language warning] for this entry.

There is a version of O Holy Night out there that gives me the willies and makes me smile at the same time. You can download an mp3 of it here, or listen to it streaming at thesneeze.com.

I can't say anything better than Steve did about this rendition, so I'll close with these words from him, "What I love about it is just when you think it couldn't possibly get any worse, it does. By a lot. And it does this more than once, building to the most glorious mess I've ever heard. I smile every time I hear it."

What he means by that is this: listen to the whole thing. When you think you absolutely must turn it off, don't. Keep listening.

Happy Birthday Mom

On the 8th was Kathleen Linnea Eriksson Ashton's 65th birthday. I kept it a low key celebration--mostly to myself with a few mentions of it to my wife and son. She passed away on February 15th, 1996 at age 53. I love you mom. Happy Birthday.

Front Sight Update

The handgun course was great . . . amazing. Anyone with a gun should go and get training like this.

As a quick update, I did not shoot myself, but someone else did while I was there. He is a sheriff's deputy from California and was cheating his way through a safety proceedure. He ended up shooting himself in the leg. Dummy.

Solace

66 years ago today maked the attack on Pearl Harbor. While I was looking at pictures of that day of infamy, I ran across this one in color of the USS Arizona's forward magazines exploding.

I wondered about the picture and where it came from. It turns out it is a still from a color motion picture taken from the USS Solace who was also there in Pearl Harbor, anchored just astern of the Nevada.

I had never heard of this ship before and was interested in how it could be filming this while everyone was scrambling.

It turns out the Solace was a hospital ship used as far back as the Spanish American War that took on the most dangerously injured sailors. As a hospital ship it didn't make any offensive action against the Japanese attackers, but immediately went after those in the water needing rescue.

Here is a personal account of Bob Addobati who was on the Solace during the attack. Here is the official report on the attack and the Solace's actions that day. Today, let's remember all the heroes of that day whether on the Arizona, Utah, Oklahoma, or little-known ships such as the Solace.

Sinterklaas

Some time between last night and this morning our family was visited by Sinterklaas. That's the beauty of having family from recent decent from different lands. You get all of those family traditions that make for fun (and extended) holiday seasons.

My son Turner made sure to leave a carrot, apple, and some celery in his shoes by the door for Americo, Sinterklaas' white horse. He knows the drill . . . leave a treat for the horse, get a treat in return.

He knows the night of Sinterklaas and Black Pete's visit even better than my wife does. She called me at work and asked for the date. When I told her, Turner said, "I told you so." To be a kid at Christmas again . . .

Front Sight

For the next four or five days I will be out of pocket and with my buddy Ponch and a couple other guys at Front Sight. We'll be taking a 4-day tactical handgun course. So, if I don't blog in the next four days, that's where I am. If I don't blog in the next week, it's likely I shot myself.

Brother Update #2

My brother is coming home from the hospital today. Turns out between Sunday and today he had a pacemaker put in also. What is the deal with his heart? He's such a drama queen.

I have PdMS

I was at drill this weekend and pulled from my normal duties by our acting First Sergeant. He told me that I needed to go and do a Post-deployment Medical Screening (PdMS). Basically, it is a chance for the doctors to hear your complaints about exposure to smoke from oil and trash fires, chemicals, or anything else that you may have run into while deployed overseas. Also, it is a chance for them to do a quick assessment for PTSD.

I have already been home for two-and-a-half years so I thought the whole thing was kind of bogus. But, a good soldier does what his First Sergeant says, so I went.

The psychologist from the VA started asking me questions for his assessment such as:

Have you had thoughts of harming yourself? NO.
Have you had thoughts of harming others? NO.
Do you have nightmares? NO.
Do you have trouble sleeping? NO.
Do you get easily frustrated? . . . yes.
Do you get angry faster than before your deployment? . . . yes [again].

Uh oh. I’m screwed up.

He explained that it is normal and not necessarily PTSD, but very common. You see, when soldiers go to Iraq or any combat zone they rely on other people. The actions of you and those around you have consequences. If someone does something stupid, someone could be hurt or killed.

When you come home you are still in this mindset. Small things like someone cutting me off and changing lanes in front of me on the road can set off my wild, cursing wrath where they are verbally torn up and down. Plainly said, what he did was stupid. Subconsciously what was said, this guy may have a car bomb and he got in close to me. Fortunately, there are two controls I have on this behavior.

1) I can stifle it when wife and kids are around. They have never heard such an outburst.
2) I have never had thoughts of escalating my frustration into road rage of any sort. Never even once considered acting on it. Berating the offender is enough.

We ended the “session” with him stating that he didn’t recommend I need to seek counseling. I think that was a correct assessment as I can control it. My work is now to control it more so that I don’t have those outbursts while alone and hopefully get to the point where I don’t even think those thoughts at all. I my not show my anger on the road to my family, but an increase in patience would likely be appreciated. Wish me luck.

You got (math) skillz?

I am shocked at the (dis)ability some people have with low-level math skills. This is what I encountered today:

I was at Home Depot and saw that they had Vine Maple trees for 75% off. Normally $20 is now $5 right? Ok.

I took one to the checker and the computer rang it up as $10--only half off, right? So, what did she do? She gave me another 25% off, but that isn't right.

There is a difference between an additional 25% off the original purchase price and 25% off a sale price that is already 50% reduced. She could not wrap her mind around this. I will lay it out below in easy-to-follow math.

$20 (original price) - 75% (or as mathemetician write x0.25) = $5 purchase price

-vs.-

$20 (original price) - 50% computer screwed up price = $10 - an additional 25% = $7.50.

So, a simple math error means I would have paid an additional $2.50 had I not contested it. Seems small no doubt, but when the final, real cost is only $5, an additional $2.50 is an increase in price of 50% because someone can't do math.

I will spare you the 15 minutes of me sitting at the register trying to explain it, the phone calls she made to her manager, and the looks I got as though I was trying to cheat the store.

It all ended with me getting the correct price and her saying, "Don't worry, I'll figure out why it is correct later." [sigh]

Brother Update

My brother David's surgery was postponed from Tuesday until yesterday. The operation began at about 7am and ended about 5 1/2 hours later. He is doing fine.

The surgeon said he had a hereditary defect in his heart where the valve was like a "stub" and not doing the job it should. They replaced it was an artificial one made of carbon fibre and then snipped off a little piece of the heart that collects 90% of the clots that run through it. I guess that was necessary as he will be on blood thinners the rest of his life.

All in all though, from the word I have gotten from my father is that he is okay and doing fine. I am going to see him tomorrow. Thanks for your prayers.

X2, and no, I don't mean X-Men 2

It was announced yesterday that the new X-Files movie will be released on July 25th, 2008. It will be a "stand alone" (i.e. NOT mythology), film and filming will begin on December 10th--a month and a week away.

This is the news I've been waiting for since 2002 when the series was cancelled. This is great. I can't wait.

Name the Band

By buddy Ponch sent me this picture. It's title says everything I ever could about it. Your mission to come up with a rockin' name for this fictional band.

To get you started, Ponch and I came up with "Carbonite" or "The Kessel Run". Both very good names. What have you got?

In our thoughts

My younger brother (31) David will be going in for open heart surgery on Tuesday. Pray for him.

Endings

I don't get into Halloween Film Fests too much, but on Saturday my wife and I sat down to watch "The Birds" with her parents as it was on cable. It was the first time either of us had seen it.

I liked it except for the ending. What a let down. Where was the ending? I was fairly engaged in it but needed some kind of explanation as to why the birds were going kookoo kaka. And, I just didn't get that. They just drove away.

It was good and I would recommend it, but plan on a non-ending if you do. I may just stick with The Watcher in the Woods. If you get the dvd, it has like three alternate endings so I can get my fill of endings with that movie.

Pathetic

Bah. What a terrible year for honey. I hope those of you who enjoyed my sweet, sweet harvest last year don't get your hopes up too high this year.

I harvested about 3 weeks ago and only got 33 pounds or so. Two of those are already gone. The drought was definately a factor as was the lateness of my extracting. Some of the honey had crystallized in the comb and couldn't be removed.

All in all it was really disappointing. Still dang good honey, but not nearly enough of it. I do still have comb honey to take too so at least it isn't as little as it sounds like.

The Stupidest Auction on eBay

To the right there is a screen shot from an auction currently on eBay. It is for the knowledge on how to bump up your feedback rating from 0 to 100+ in only 24 hours.

He goes on to say why it is important to have a high feedback rating and what the benefits are to sellers who have 100+ ratings.

Makes sense to me and if it works and is not against any eBay rules then no problem, right?

Well, there's just one problem. I know the screen shot is small, but there is one detail that stands out. Can you see his feedback rating? 45! What a moron.

I've emailed him to ask him to explain this discrepancy. We'll see how he spins it.

UPDATE:
I heard from the seller almost immediately. His response was this:

"It does seem at bit odd, does it not? I am a bit lax in doing that myself - I have been too busy with other things, and eBay and I are in a dispute over some erroneous charges right now."

Hmmmm. In dispute with eBay, eh? I would believe it more if the dispute was about selling ways to beat the system instead of over erroneous charges, but that is just me.

It's begun.

Yesterday I walked out the back door to feed the chickens and immediately spotted a kestrel hunting sparrows around my house. He swooped after one that got away, flew back over my roof and then perched my my neighbor's tree that overhangs onto my property.


This morning I was out with the chickens again and a big red-tailed hawk flew low over my back acre and landed on one of my fence posts. He too was out hunting. Hopefully not for my chickens, but to be honest he could take a couple and I would probably never know.


The fall raptor migration has begun. That may not sound too exciting, but for a wildlife biologist like me it is pretty cool. Especially when I get to see it in my own backyard.

Fog

We live in the middle of the valley and at certain times of the year get totally socked in with fog. Natural fog. Last night was different.

My wife and I went out for a short 2 mile run last night, pushing the kids in the running stroller. We didn't get but 3 houses away when I heard it.

Chemical Ali.

That's what we call him . . . the mosquito abatement man. He was coming and the fog was thick despite him driving way too fast to do the job properly (I've been meaning to call and complain about that all summer). You would have thought he would cut off the fogger as he passed us, especially since we had our 6 and 1 year children with us, but no, he was in a hurry.

We probably should have stopped and gone in, but we continued the run and shortly got to a place not fogged with good air. We thought we were in the clear. About 15 minutes later we rounded the corner for the home stretch and it hit us again. You couldn't see it anymore, but you could smell it.

Fortunately it is getting pretty cold at night now and that is doing a better job of killing off those buggers than the fog ever will. I can't wait for the autumn to put Chemical Ali out of a job.

911

Today is September 11th . . . six years later.

What more is there to say?

Either you get it or you don't.

Go spend some time on a walk in a beautiful place with those you love.

Enjoy the life and freedom you have that others lost.

Welcome autumn

Autumn is the best.

Don't believe me? You are wrong.

Thank heaven summer is gone.

Good riddance.


Who doesn't LOVE autumn?

If you don't, I don't want to know you.

10

Last night I was laying in bed and realized, "Hey, I joined the Army 10 years ago today." Now I really feel old. I have never had a job other than this that I have stayed with for 10 whole years. I am actually half way to retirement and only 32 years old. I could actually retire (from the Army) at age 42! (but probably will not).


Even though I've gone through 10 years including basic training, Army cook school, multiple NCO leadership courses, emergency state-duty call ups, and a tour in Iraq, there is plenty more to come. I am changing jobs and will soon be a Field Artillery Officer. With that comes about 8 months of training away from home. There will no doubt be other schools to go to like Air Assault and Airbourne, and with as much time as I have left, I definately expect another tour in Iraq, Afghanistan, or wherever the next set of jerks pop up.

This is not a slide down the hill toward retirement, but cresting the hill only to find that the peak is actually much higher up than you expected. Fortunately, this is a mountain I enjoy climbing.

Chubba Bubba

So, after over 2 years of working with an Army recruiter, this week the whole process culminated in the final interview to get my promotion and comission as an officer in the Utah Army National Guard.

In my interview I was basically told I'm a lazy, fat, do-nothing slob. Well, not really. The colonel who interviewed me was very positive, but said that I am just skating by in my physical fitness efforts. He was dead wrong. Skating is an actual sport involving actual exercise. I was more like sitting on the couch watching Star Trek for my physical fitness efforts--oh, and sometimes The Office too. My Name is Earl is good too . . . ya, but that's all.

So, since I'm not a fat slob, but am maintaining weight and physical abilities somewhat, he decided to go ahead and sign off on my recommendation. However, I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to get off my big butt, eat right, and do some exercise. I just about cried when I heard that. My wife asked for his address so she could send a 'thank you' note.

Chesno Hang Out

Growing up a guy there are a lot of little stupid things you do and say. Today I had the following experience:

I went into the restroom here at my office and saw my boss standing at the urinal. My first thought was to say, “Hey, this is where the dicks hang out”. This was a common saying in Junior High when you stepped up to a urinal. It was as close as kids that age got to double meanings--namely, their privates and the other guys around them.

Luckily I caught myself and did not say it to my boss.

Some things are so ingrained it’s like you don’t even have to think about it. Thank you Orem Junior High School. Go Jaguars.

It's Been 4 Years?

A little bit ago I ran across a random blog written by a woman mourning the decline of her grandfather and how much he had changed as age took over. I experienced the same thing four years ago when I visited my last grandparent for the last time. It stirred in me the feelings to respond with the following:

"I know how you feel. I last visited my grandfather in June 2003. He died in
October 2004 while I was in Iraq. Of course I missed the funeral.

"On my last visit, he was different. Grandma had been gone for 6 years, and the house was not the same. Grandpa was not the same.

"I maintain a website of family recipes
and I asked him for many. I went through his stack and then he told me I
couldn't have them. I would have to go to Kinko's to copy them.

"His personality wasn't the same. He was more irritable. He didn't want all the family coming over for a BBQ, but he was still grandpa and I still love him.

"The last thing we did together before I left for the airport was bake traditional Swedish bread with him from where he grew up. That is the memory I will remember from that trip, and the others will be of childhood."

That was already four years ago this month. My how time flys. I still maintain that website although I haven't updated it in a while. You can find it here.

I love you grandpa and still miss you all the time.

Chesno Geek Redux

Just over a year ago on May 5th, 2006 I wrote of my own geekiness in relation to Star Trek Fandom. Well, I am here to revise it.

While I was away last week on a business trip a package came in the mail for me. It was a box of 3 Deep Space Nine novels (The Millennium Series) I won on eBay for $0.99 (plus $7 shipping). After getting home, I lay in bed reading Volume 1. My wife who is renowned for not letting me read in peace in bed, on the toilet or wherever looks over and mocks, "The Fall of Tebuk Nor!"

"TEROK Nor" I correct. "That was the name of DS9 before the withdrawal of the Cardassians."

"DS9?" she laughs. "Is that some kind of cool abbreviation [similar to KFC I guess she was getting at--ed.] I've never heard it called DS9 before."

Before I went off about how everyone knows DS9 is the shortened version of Deep Space Nine and how she really needs to bone up on her Cardassian occupation of Bajor history I stopped myself. It was another geek moment battle I knew I would not win.

You must read this . . .

A beautiful and fitting tribute to a true American. The last known Navy veteran of WWI died last Thursday. Here are some beautiful words said about him and his kind.

Who Knew?

I had no idea.

April is The Month of the Military Child. It is a month to honour and support those 1,000,000+ children who have one or more parents serving in the military.

Since my wife is a military child as are our children, I think I am going to have to go through the website and and find some ideas to celebrate their sacrifices due to my, and my father-in-law's service. There have been too many missed weekend activities, missed birthdays, Christmases, other holidays to not do something to show how much we love and appreciate their sacrifices.

She Must Love Me . . .

My wife must really love me. How do I know this? Well, this morning I got a phone call from her shortly after I left for work. All of the goats were getting out, eating our trees, and being all-round naughty.


My mom up in Canada has dubbed all goat as "ill-behaved", but as a term of endearment. I have to agree. Their naughtiness is part of what makes them interesting and fun. However, it is not fun for your wife at 8:30 in the morning to be running around in her robe wrangling goats back into the pen.


Jenn isn't necessarily a farm animal gal, but she's working on it and definately being won over by the naughtiness, interesting-nature, and productivity of the animals we have.


One animal though may have regressed those sentiments. As she was getting the goats back in, a big nasty goose hissed at her (very common), and bit her on the back of the calf (not so common). Yes, my wife was bitten by a goose this morning in her bathrobe. The bite even left a big purple mark. So, yes, my wife loves me . . . enough to be my goatherd and goose chow.

24 Update

Back in January I talked about how I feel like I am the only one who has ever not seen a single hour of "24". I can proudly say that now I have--4 hours in fact.

Although, I can't say that I'm "hooked" yet, I am greatly intrigued by it and amazed they can keep so many interesting story lines all going at once. I'll keep watching thanks to Hollywood Video's MVP program.

Crisis Averted

The title of this post is also the title of the picture above.

If you are not watching The Office on NBC on Thursdays, "You are an idiot" as Dwight K. Schrute would say.

You Too Can Own Stupid

How did I not see this coming?

Some brilliant person who got the pleasure of cutting off all of Bitney Spear's hair is selling it along with the Red Bull can she was drinking from, a blue Bic lighter she used, and the shears used in the ordeal.

Opening bid. 1M$, or if you prefer:

$1,000,000.00

It's a pile of hair, an empty can, a 50 cent lighter, and $20 hair clippers. Some people.

Christmas No More

It is Christmas no more. Last night (January 23rd), I finally took it all down. I told my wife as I was doing it, "It has been up so long, even I am ready for it come down."

This is impressive as I am a huge Christmas nut and almost can't wait for Thanksgiving to be over soon enough so I can start Christmas without being looked at as crazy for beginning it too early.

But, it had all been up too long--mostly due to the fact that since Christmas we had remodeled from the ground up (new tile, toilets, vanities and sinks/faucets, mirrors, paint, towl hooks, and paneling) two bathrooms and our mudroom, laundryroom, and other areas. We've been busy, so Christmas has stayed.

I didn't Cry The Day I Took The Tree Down yesterday, but I did think of the song as it was coming down. You can't know the song without at least humming it as you do the deed (link will download the entire 4.6mb song). By the way, no that picture is not our house, but it is a good depiction of what it looks like when Christmas is officially over.

Global Warming Update #1

Oh the humanity!

9/32 . . . Really?

This may be my most boring post yet, but . . .

Last week I was hooking up one of my Christmas toys--a weather station complete with wind and rain sensors. As I was up about 15 feet in the air ontop of a ladder, ontop of the bed of my truck, I couldn't figure out which wrench was correct.

The 1/4 inch one was too small, but the 5/8 inch wrench too big. Not even any of those dirty metric ones worked. What was one to do?

Out I pulled a 9/32" wrench and it worked! What the H? Really? 9/32"? Who even knew such a wrench existed and why would anyone use it? Does it really add just enough more holding power than 1/4" to justify its existence.

Am I the only one?

Here it is. The beginning of Season 6 and I feel like the only person in America (or probably Canada too for that matter), who has never watched a single "hour" of 24.

I think it may be about time I went and rented Season 1, Disc 1 to see what all the hullabaloo is about. It's okay if I get hooked. Right now I really only have one TV show I watch since I gave up CS(ex)I and CS(ex)I: Miami. That show would be The Office of course.

All Hail the NEW 100 Grand with Coconut

So, I have been known to dispise the 100 Grand candy bar dispite it being my wife's favorite. The main reason is that it gives you a "sugar tooth". This is the term my friends and I used for when some kind of sugary confection (usually caramel or some sort of nougat), would get stuck in your tooth and actually cause a sugary pain--not a normal one, but a pain you can tell is the responsibility of refined sugar. I believe that that sugar is eating away at your tooth at this point and getting directly past the enamel and all. Kind of a root canal performed by Mr. Goodbar, DDS.

Along with such favorites as Sugar Babies, Charleston Chew, and Big Hunk, the 100 Grand is notorious for giving the sugar tooth due to its thick, sticky caramel. However, that is all changed now. A new version of the 100 Grand is out and the sticky caramel is replaced with toasted coconut and it kicks butt. So long sugar tooth. Hello coconut.

UPDATE:

For those of you wanting a humorous and thorough review of snack foods, check out WASAW: Writers and Artists Snacking at Work. Just don't be freaked out by the voice proclaiming, "Snacks" . . . you'll see.

Tea Time

It may be 9:50 in the morning, but here it's tea time. It is a chilly 6 degrees (F)--and that's up a bit from when I woke up. My feet are chilly, it's cold and blustery outside, but I have my peppermint herbal tea with (leftover from Christmastime) Peppermint Mocha Coffee-mate. Now, if only I weren't at work.

A Sack of Salt and a Broom!

Ya, a sack of salt and a broom. Don't know why I thought of this today, but in my family's Christmas tradition, we were never threatened with a lump of coal in our stocking if we were ill-behaved, naughty children. We were always threatened with a sack of salt and a broom.

Don't know where that came from. My mother's side was steeped in Dutch and Swedish tradition, so I figure it came from there somewhere as did most traditions I continue to carry forward. I can't even remember what the sack of salt and the broom were for. Evidently, cleaning up, and . . . um, preserving meats? Don't know. Perhaps one of my smart siblings or cousins knows from what tradition this springs and what they are given to naughty children for.

In any case, I will carry it on. I may not remember much about it, but it is cooler and different from the lump of coal that most kids are threatened with. Plus, how many traditions do you keep that you really understand? I thought so.

UPDATE:

Leave it to my brilliant cousin Beorn of Ravensmoon Replicas (shameless plug) to get me the answer and get it quick. In his own words:

" . . . the sack of salt and broomstick thing . . . Sack of salt, to wash out your dirty, dirty mouth. Broomstick, to spank your naughty rear end with. It's a Swedish thing."

There you have it. Perfect Old World scare tactics at their best. I love it. I'm sure you could still cure meats though with the salt.

Tall? Girl? Running?

For those of you have missed it, there is this great new blog out there by some girl who is hyper-fanatical about running and likes to rub everyone's nose in it. Especially those of us who are fat and lazy and don't give a crap about running (even though the Army makes us give a crap about it).

In any case, check it out. She's my sister-in-law and updates it much more often than I do this blog, so at least you'll have something to read during the 3 weeks or so it takes me to update.

I've linked it on my sidebar, so you can always find it from here. Oh, and I'm just kidding about what I said above Angie . . . the Army could NEVER make me give a crap about running. Also, you're not so tall.

Chesno Christmas 2006

Wow. Nothing about Christmas. Really? Hmmm. My favorite time of year and haven’t written a word.

That’s probably because I hate to see it go. Here it is the 10th of January. Christmas is two-and-a-half weeks in the can and I haven’t taken down my decorations yet—inside or out. I have pretty much stopped listening to Christmas music already though. That is a change as it usually plays in my car until about Valentine’s Day.

So, Christmas was great. The boy was excited like his father. A party every night from the 23rd-26th, our Swedish smorgasbord at Auntie Karin’s house, and seeing cousins, siblings, parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, and even step-brothers and sisters. Almost couldn’t be more perfect.

We did have a change of heart though this year. It was funny because both my wife and I came upon it independently. We have spent 11 Christmases together as a married couple and not a single one of them in our own home. One year we didn’t even put up a tree (shudders). Next year (by which I mean this year), we are going to spend it at home. Not at home where we grew up. At home. Our home. We will still visit family and attend parties, and it would take another tour in Iraq to keep me from the smorgasbord, but Christmas will be in our own home this year.

New Blog?

I am currently tranferring this old blog into the new, improved format that Blogger had created for us. Hopefully it will be better, so stick with me while I make the changes.