Chesno Geek Redux

Just over a year ago on May 5th, 2006 I wrote of my own geekiness in relation to Star Trek Fandom. Well, I am here to revise it.

While I was away last week on a business trip a package came in the mail for me. It was a box of 3 Deep Space Nine novels (The Millennium Series) I won on eBay for $0.99 (plus $7 shipping). After getting home, I lay in bed reading Volume 1. My wife who is renowned for not letting me read in peace in bed, on the toilet or wherever looks over and mocks, "The Fall of Tebuk Nor!"

"TEROK Nor" I correct. "That was the name of DS9 before the withdrawal of the Cardassians."

"DS9?" she laughs. "Is that some kind of cool abbreviation [similar to KFC I guess she was getting at--ed.] I've never heard it called DS9 before."

Before I went off about how everyone knows DS9 is the shortened version of Deep Space Nine and how she really needs to bone up on her Cardassian occupation of Bajor history I stopped myself. It was another geek moment battle I knew I would not win.

You must read this . . .

A beautiful and fitting tribute to a true American. The last known Navy veteran of WWI died last Thursday. Here are some beautiful words said about him and his kind.

Who Knew?

I had no idea.

April is The Month of the Military Child. It is a month to honour and support those 1,000,000+ children who have one or more parents serving in the military.

Since my wife is a military child as are our children, I think I am going to have to go through the website and and find some ideas to celebrate their sacrifices due to my, and my father-in-law's service. There have been too many missed weekend activities, missed birthdays, Christmases, other holidays to not do something to show how much we love and appreciate their sacrifices.

She Must Love Me . . .

My wife must really love me. How do I know this? Well, this morning I got a phone call from her shortly after I left for work. All of the goats were getting out, eating our trees, and being all-round naughty.


My mom up in Canada has dubbed all goat as "ill-behaved", but as a term of endearment. I have to agree. Their naughtiness is part of what makes them interesting and fun. However, it is not fun for your wife at 8:30 in the morning to be running around in her robe wrangling goats back into the pen.


Jenn isn't necessarily a farm animal gal, but she's working on it and definately being won over by the naughtiness, interesting-nature, and productivity of the animals we have.


One animal though may have regressed those sentiments. As she was getting the goats back in, a big nasty goose hissed at her (very common), and bit her on the back of the calf (not so common). Yes, my wife was bitten by a goose this morning in her bathrobe. The bite even left a big purple mark. So, yes, my wife loves me . . . enough to be my goatherd and goose chow.

24 Update

Back in January I talked about how I feel like I am the only one who has ever not seen a single hour of "24". I can proudly say that now I have--4 hours in fact.

Although, I can't say that I'm "hooked" yet, I am greatly intrigued by it and amazed they can keep so many interesting story lines all going at once. I'll keep watching thanks to Hollywood Video's MVP program.

Crisis Averted

The title of this post is also the title of the picture above.

If you are not watching The Office on NBC on Thursdays, "You are an idiot" as Dwight K. Schrute would say.

You Too Can Own Stupid

How did I not see this coming?

Some brilliant person who got the pleasure of cutting off all of Bitney Spear's hair is selling it along with the Red Bull can she was drinking from, a blue Bic lighter she used, and the shears used in the ordeal.

Opening bid. 1M$, or if you prefer:

$1,000,000.00

It's a pile of hair, an empty can, a 50 cent lighter, and $20 hair clippers. Some people.

Christmas No More

It is Christmas no more. Last night (January 23rd), I finally took it all down. I told my wife as I was doing it, "It has been up so long, even I am ready for it come down."

This is impressive as I am a huge Christmas nut and almost can't wait for Thanksgiving to be over soon enough so I can start Christmas without being looked at as crazy for beginning it too early.

But, it had all been up too long--mostly due to the fact that since Christmas we had remodeled from the ground up (new tile, toilets, vanities and sinks/faucets, mirrors, paint, towl hooks, and paneling) two bathrooms and our mudroom, laundryroom, and other areas. We've been busy, so Christmas has stayed.

I didn't Cry The Day I Took The Tree Down yesterday, but I did think of the song as it was coming down. You can't know the song without at least humming it as you do the deed (link will download the entire 4.6mb song). By the way, no that picture is not our house, but it is a good depiction of what it looks like when Christmas is officially over.

Global Warming Update #1

Oh the humanity!

9/32 . . . Really?

This may be my most boring post yet, but . . .

Last week I was hooking up one of my Christmas toys--a weather station complete with wind and rain sensors. As I was up about 15 feet in the air ontop of a ladder, ontop of the bed of my truck, I couldn't figure out which wrench was correct.

The 1/4 inch one was too small, but the 5/8 inch wrench too big. Not even any of those dirty metric ones worked. What was one to do?

Out I pulled a 9/32" wrench and it worked! What the H? Really? 9/32"? Who even knew such a wrench existed and why would anyone use it? Does it really add just enough more holding power than 1/4" to justify its existence.

Am I the only one?

Here it is. The beginning of Season 6 and I feel like the only person in America (or probably Canada too for that matter), who has never watched a single "hour" of 24.

I think it may be about time I went and rented Season 1, Disc 1 to see what all the hullabaloo is about. It's okay if I get hooked. Right now I really only have one TV show I watch since I gave up CS(ex)I and CS(ex)I: Miami. That show would be The Office of course.

All Hail the NEW 100 Grand with Coconut

So, I have been known to dispise the 100 Grand candy bar dispite it being my wife's favorite. The main reason is that it gives you a "sugar tooth". This is the term my friends and I used for when some kind of sugary confection (usually caramel or some sort of nougat), would get stuck in your tooth and actually cause a sugary pain--not a normal one, but a pain you can tell is the responsibility of refined sugar. I believe that that sugar is eating away at your tooth at this point and getting directly past the enamel and all. Kind of a root canal performed by Mr. Goodbar, DDS.

Along with such favorites as Sugar Babies, Charleston Chew, and Big Hunk, the 100 Grand is notorious for giving the sugar tooth due to its thick, sticky caramel. However, that is all changed now. A new version of the 100 Grand is out and the sticky caramel is replaced with toasted coconut and it kicks butt. So long sugar tooth. Hello coconut.

UPDATE:

For those of you wanting a humorous and thorough review of snack foods, check out WASAW: Writers and Artists Snacking at Work. Just don't be freaked out by the voice proclaiming, "Snacks" . . . you'll see.

Tea Time

It may be 9:50 in the morning, but here it's tea time. It is a chilly 6 degrees (F)--and that's up a bit from when I woke up. My feet are chilly, it's cold and blustery outside, but I have my peppermint herbal tea with (leftover from Christmastime) Peppermint Mocha Coffee-mate. Now, if only I weren't at work.

A Sack of Salt and a Broom!

Ya, a sack of salt and a broom. Don't know why I thought of this today, but in my family's Christmas tradition, we were never threatened with a lump of coal in our stocking if we were ill-behaved, naughty children. We were always threatened with a sack of salt and a broom.

Don't know where that came from. My mother's side was steeped in Dutch and Swedish tradition, so I figure it came from there somewhere as did most traditions I continue to carry forward. I can't even remember what the sack of salt and the broom were for. Evidently, cleaning up, and . . . um, preserving meats? Don't know. Perhaps one of my smart siblings or cousins knows from what tradition this springs and what they are given to naughty children for.

In any case, I will carry it on. I may not remember much about it, but it is cooler and different from the lump of coal that most kids are threatened with. Plus, how many traditions do you keep that you really understand? I thought so.

UPDATE:

Leave it to my brilliant cousin Beorn of Ravensmoon Replicas (shameless plug) to get me the answer and get it quick. In his own words:

" . . . the sack of salt and broomstick thing . . . Sack of salt, to wash out your dirty, dirty mouth. Broomstick, to spank your naughty rear end with. It's a Swedish thing."

There you have it. Perfect Old World scare tactics at their best. I love it. I'm sure you could still cure meats though with the salt.

Tall? Girl? Running?

For those of you have missed it, there is this great new blog out there by some girl who is hyper-fanatical about running and likes to rub everyone's nose in it. Especially those of us who are fat and lazy and don't give a crap about running (even though the Army makes us give a crap about it).

In any case, check it out. She's my sister-in-law and updates it much more often than I do this blog, so at least you'll have something to read during the 3 weeks or so it takes me to update.

I've linked it on my sidebar, so you can always find it from here. Oh, and I'm just kidding about what I said above Angie . . . the Army could NEVER make me give a crap about running. Also, you're not so tall.

Chesno Christmas 2006

Wow. Nothing about Christmas. Really? Hmmm. My favorite time of year and haven’t written a word.

That’s probably because I hate to see it go. Here it is the 10th of January. Christmas is two-and-a-half weeks in the can and I haven’t taken down my decorations yet—inside or out. I have pretty much stopped listening to Christmas music already though. That is a change as it usually plays in my car until about Valentine’s Day.

So, Christmas was great. The boy was excited like his father. A party every night from the 23rd-26th, our Swedish smorgasbord at Auntie Karin’s house, and seeing cousins, siblings, parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, and even step-brothers and sisters. Almost couldn’t be more perfect.

We did have a change of heart though this year. It was funny because both my wife and I came upon it independently. We have spent 11 Christmases together as a married couple and not a single one of them in our own home. One year we didn’t even put up a tree (shudders). Next year (by which I mean this year), we are going to spend it at home. Not at home where we grew up. At home. Our home. We will still visit family and attend parties, and it would take another tour in Iraq to keep me from the smorgasbord, but Christmas will be in our own home this year.

New Blog?

I am currently tranferring this old blog into the new, improved format that Blogger had created for us. Hopefully it will be better, so stick with me while I make the changes.

Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy Birthday Lisa!

If any of you have seen the Simpsons 3rd Season episode "Stark Raving Dad", then you are familiar with the Lisa Birthday Song. Today is the day to sing it. My baby sister Lisa is 28 years old today. As the song goes:

"Lisa, it's your birthday. God bless you this day. You gave me the gift of a little sister, and I'm proud of you today.

Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa.

I wish you love and good will. I wish you peace and joy. I wish you better than your heart desires. And your first kiss from a boy.

Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa. Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa."

Happy Birthday Sis.

Bolshoy Waste of Time

So, I am about 5 hours south of home now in Cedar City, Utah. I have been here for the past 2 days. I am here for work to monitor the effects of oil and gas exploration seismic work on the endangered Utah Prairie Dog. Sounds reasonable enough, eh?

The deal is, the "dogs" have a buffer around their colonies that will prevent seismic exploration anywhere near them. Furthermore, they are currently underground, hibernating for the winter and the amount of energy put out by the machines isn't even enough to make dirt fall in from their tunnel walls. That's good.

So, the problem is, we've (yes, two biologists are required to do this, including one of us with an underground tunnel camera), only monitored one site (a total of 15 minutes) in the two days we've been here. Furthermore, we won't get to do it at all today either (like yesterday), so tomorrow morning, we will monitor one more site and then get to go home--until next week when we are needed again. Aaaaarrrrrrgggghhhh.

Guess I'll break out some more Star Trek dvds and enjoy myself some more.

Chesno Mom

Yesterday was the 64th anniversaryof the birth of my mother. Unfortunately, she is no longer with us to celebrate the day.

Last week I began watching her funeral I have on video tape--only the second time I have done so in ten and-a-half years. I got through about half of my brother David's eulogy and had to turn it off. I'll try again later.

We love you and miss you mom. Happy Birthday.

The Fruit of a Cold Day

So, yesterday was cold. The first real cold day we've had so far this year. Consequently, the night before, A Christmas Story was shown on TV. Someone on the bus had the idea that it would be a good idea to tell my 5-year-old son of the good idea it is to stick your tongue to a frozen pole.

I got a call at work at about 9am. The boy needed picking up.

When I showed up, he was crying hysterically. His mouth was full of blood and his tongue looked bruised, except for the tip which looked like a chunk was out of it.

We went to the doctor. The same one we've been to for stiches, stiches removal, ear infection, and now this--all in the past 5 weeks or so. I think they are dedicating a new wing to my son early in the new year.

Of course, there was nothing the doc could do except give him some pain reliever, oh, and a pop sickle. Go figure, the boy wanted something else that was freezing cold in his mouth after that experience, and even ate another 3 after we got home.

By the time I went back to work he seemed fine and was eating pizza now that the bleeding had stopped over an hour later. This morning it looked almost as good as new.

Now, if I could just figure out who put him up to it. I have a feeling it was his friend who got spooked and left him there alone stuck to the pole once he got scared. Just like in the movie.

Bad Tooth Fairy, Bad Fairy

So, Sunday night my 5 year old lost his first tooth. He was so excited for the tooth fairy to come to our house for the first time ever. We put his little, first, baby tooth under The Good Fairy--a statue from the 1917(?) World's Fair that was used in my grandmother's, mother's, my, and now our home for the same purpose of safeguarding the children's teeth until the "real" Good Fairy could spirit them away while leaving them a present in exchange.

When he woke up yesterday morning, he ran to the Good Fairy to find she had forgotten to come. My wife scrambled.

"We just moved the Good Fairy yesterday when we were decorating for Christmas didn't we? Perhaps she had a hard time finding it."

I got in on the action. "Also, it was stormy last night. Perhaps she had a hard time getting everywhere. She's probably just a little late."

Our speculations proved true. The Tooth Fairy did come that day--while my boy was at school and while mom was at the store. I knew she didn't forget.

Chesno Good Business

Golden Corral restaurants have been giving out free meals to Veterans on the Monday after Veteran's Day for some time now. Since 2001, they have given away more than 1,230,960 meals. Last year, I partook in my first one. It was busy, but they also sold a meal to my wife and son they otherwise wouldn't have.

I'm not saying everyone should give veterans things for free just to sell to their family who wouldn't have patronized their store otherwise. I really feel that Golden Corral is doing it because they feel it is a good way they can honour vets. As proof of this too, they have raised $1,393,883 for the Disabled American Veterans Organization. This is the type of organization I prefer to patronize--those who give back and support real American values.

So, visit your local Golden Corral and tell them you support and appreciate their efforts to feed and honour veterans. Just, maybe tonight isn't the night to do it--the line will be long and you'll have to wait at the grill behind me.

Chesno Vote

Today is election and at about 7:50am or so I voted. I listened to the advice of my cousin and voted for people, not parties.

Now, at the polls I did not encounter:

1) Lawyers ensuring everything was going as planned.
2) Bribes of underwear, or Top Ramen to get out and vote.
3) Long lines.
4) Incompetent poll workers.
5) Any voter fraud at all.

It was smooth and easy. I hope the rest of the country finds the same. Although, with some already calling voter fraud in the days BEFORE election day, this may even get uglier than it already has.

(Ahmed) Best Halloween Costume Ever . . . Chesno!

Here it is 2006--7 years after The Phantom Menace hit the screen, and last night I saw a child wearing a costume of the amazingly stupid Jar Jar Binks.

I was blown away. Of course, I don't blame the child. I'm sure his parent found it at the local Goodwill for a quarter and told him he was being Jar Jar this Halloween. Oh, and if he didn't stop that crying, it would be next year too.

The child did have some sense though. He had the plastic "face" mask. You know, the kind that was all the rage in the 1950s through 1980s that didn't pull down over your head, but were held on by a thin piece of white elastic around the back of your head. So, instead of actually wearing the mask on his face, he pulled it up on top of his head like a hat. Smart boy.

I made sure I gave him a fun-sized Abba Zaba for his trouble.

For those of you who need the Jar Jar costume, look here, here, and for the deluxe mask, here. The last one is worth looking at just because you get an idea of what the disembodied head of Jar Jar would look like.

Chesno Thanksgiving(?)

Yes, Thanksgiving! The whole world doesn't revolve around the US and it's holidays (but pretty much).

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada. Last year I spent it with my wife and son at the family cottage on the lake in Central Ontario. It was a wonderful time of good eats, fun with family, cutting down trees that would treaten buildings should they come down during winter, hauling in the docks, teasing the beavers, and going on hikes.

Simply wonderful. I hope they are having a great time despite not having my family there this year. I will celebrate nonetheless at home with at least a pumpkin pie. I did make sure to fly "Old Leafy" below "Old Glory" this morning in honour of the holiday.

Babi Yar 65 years later

As someone who was fully-engrossed in Ukrainian culture from my 2 years living there, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that today is the 65th anniversary of the massacre of Babi Yar.

When I lived there in the mid 90s I spoke with a man who remembered seeing the first German tanks drive into Kiev on September 19th, 1941. What he didn't know then was that a terrible massacre of Jewish Ukrainians would take place 10 days later.

On the 28th, a decree was sent around saying:

"All Jews living in the city of Kiev and its vicinity are to report by 8 o'clock on the morning of Monday, September 29, 1941, to the corner of Melnikovsky and Dokhturov Streets (near the cemetery). They are to take with them documents, money, valuables, as well as warm clothes, underwear, etc. Any Jew not carrying out this instruction and who is found elsewhere will be shot. Any civilian entering flats evacuated by Jews and stealing property will be shot."

Most Jews simply thought they would be loaded onto trains and deported for awhile. What really happened was, they were ordered to undress, beaten, had their property stolen, and were led to the edge of Babi Yar gorge and shot. At least 33,771 were killed 65 years ago today and tomorrow. In only 2 days.

There is much more to know about Babi Yar than I wrote and the links here can fill in the blanks. Prepare to be horrified as you read of the clean up effort (towards the bottom of the page and in more detail elsewhere), and escape of the prisoners who had to do the work to cover up what the Nazis did at Babi Yar. Perhaps the best page of links is here.

Thankfully, this is how I knew Babi Yar. Memorial garden with monuments. The Russian word for monument is pommyatnik. The root word is from the verb: to remember. May we all remember what was done at Babi Yar and never let it happen again whether in Europe, the Middle East, Africa, or Heaven-forbid, here in North America.

Stupid Bees

So, I may go and gas the bees after all. Sure, I've been able to steal a boatload of honey from them this year, but when you get stung in the eye, honey seems like no big deal.

It all happened tonight when I went to steal more honey. Things were going alright, but I was getting buzzed quite a bit. I know better than to open up a hive when it is cold, overcast, approaching bedtime, and at this time of year the bees are extra protective of their honey.

They got me, and I learned a lesson. Doesn't mean I'll change the way I do things. Did I really learn anything?

**UPDATE: When I woke this morning the swelling was even worse and my eye was so totally swollen shut you couldn't even see my eye lashes. It is going down now, but the doctor said that he couldn't do anything about it. Hopefully, it doesn't impact my job interview tomorrow, or my drive down to my 2-week Army training.

Chesno Changes

So, today is a watershed day in the Ashton home. Our son is attending his first day of kindergarten as I type.

My wife took him to school this morning, but tomorrow our neighbor, the bus driver, will pick him up, and her grandson (my son's best friend), and he will begin his daily adventure for real on to school.

Life has changed already because of this. Beginning this week I will be attending a 2-week-long Army leadership school. My wife planned on spending a week of time with her family while I was away. We then realized: Turner has school! Wow, that's new!

There is also something psychological about sending your first born (not including the dog), off to school for the first day. I don't feel melancholy per se, but there is just something different there . . .

Brigette Ann Esposito

I'm sorry this is over two weeks late after 9/11. I was on duty with the Army and was unable to complete it while away. I still want to get this up and published though as Project 2,996 is now a permenant tribute to those fallen on September 11, 2001.

Brigette Ann Esposito was age 34 on September 11, 2001. She was killed at World Trade Center where she worked as a consultant at Marsh & McLennan Cos. Inc. World Trade Center, Tower 2, on the 94th floor. She was a resident of New York City, N.Y. (USA).

A memorial guestbook has been set up by those who love her.

There, her neice said of her,

"Its unfair that we all cant hear your laugh again, see your smile, recieve your advice, and just be in your presence."

Another poster said,

"This year I am concentrating on having known Bridget instead of the loss of her, her smile, her laughter, her loving ways, her wise words and strong opinions - we miss talking with you but we are so glad we got to know you."

Her good friend summed up everyone's thoughts with this:

"We all miss you every day. We are so much better having known you."

More loving words for Brigette can be found here and a CNN tribute here.

We won't ever forget. We won't let it happen again, and we will remember your spirit, love for live and family, and determination. Rest in Peace Brigette. Your friends and family love and remember you and will carry on your memory.

Brigette Ann Esposito

Chesno Dad

So, I'm not a new dad (my son is 5), but sometimes I feel like it.

Last weekend we went to Bear Lake and spent plenty of time on the water. My wife asked me to slather my boy up with sunscreen. When I got over to him, he was covered with sand, so what does a dad do? He just mixes all that sand and sunscreen together in a gloopey paste on his boy. Even worse, we realized the next day that I must have been concerned about getting any in his eyes because he had a big, lopsided, retangular sunburn mask across his eyes.

Dad strikes!

The next day was Sunday and I left church early because my brother was coming into town for just a short time. I needed to get some cleaning and food prep done, but I had brought the baby home with me. She was crying and time was getting short. I had her in the baby swing with the pacifier, but she wouldn't be settled. Then I had an idea. I spread a little corn syrup on the pacifier (at least I knew honey wasn't good for babies), and she took it like a charm. She was asleep in less than a minute, then I cleaned off her mouth so she didn't stick to my wife the next time she nursed.

Dad strikes again!

P.S. Honey, sorry you had to hear about this incident this way.

Chesno Purple Finger

I hope this doesn't come across as crude or in bad taste, but . . .

This is totally random. I saw a picture today of the purple-fingered Iraqis and it made me think of my childhood. As my friends and I were preparing to go overseas to serve 2-year missions, we had to get a full physical first. Part of that physical included a prostate exam.

We began renaming the exam: 1) The Jello Finger, or 2) The Goopey Finger. You also usually got "scrogged", but that is for another time.

When I saw the picture today, I thought, 3) The Purple Finger. Do a search for pictures online of purple-fingered Iraqis with this new frame of mind. You will be disturbed.

Chesno VJ

61 years ago (1945) today WWII ended with the surrender of Japan on VJ (Victory over Japan) Day. Have you heard anything about this today? No? Well, why not? This was the end of the biggest, most bloody, terrible war of our time. It signaled the beginning of soldiers using the GI Bill which brought expanded schooling, the suburbanization of America, and social and financial success to the middle class of America.

Do we not celebrate our success and the close of our sacrifices both at home and abroad because it is not PC to celebrate a victory over our now strong ally? I hope that isn't so. In any case, at least one state (and one alone), Rhode Island, celebrates "Victory Day" as a state holiday.

Chesno Maples

I have begun a new blog. I have found that as the year progresses, my yard becomes more productive, and I spend more and more time outside.

My new blog is called: Maple Acres and Spring Creek. Spring Creek is the area where we live and I have planted by hand several hundered maple trees. The name seemed appropriate.

There I will document what is going on in my hobby farm. Last week I had a huge onion, garlic, potato, and shallot harvest. This week I will harvest honey from my bees. There are tons of on-going projects--chicken coop construction, berry and grape trellis construction etc. There will always be something new to see.

Join me at Maple Acres at Spring Creek. I hope you enjoy reading a little bit about the place I love so much.

Chesno Elise

It's about time I write about this. It was 2 weeks ago today we went into the hospital expecting the arrival of our new baby girl.

Elise Madsen Ashton was born on 25 July 2006 at 12:31 am. She weighed 6 lbs. 14 oz. and was 19.5 inches long.

She and mom are doing great. We are loving having her in our family and are so happy.

Chesno Sugar Tits

Since rolling out of my weekend cave on Monday and learning what took place while hiding from the world, I can't get one question out of my head.

"What are you looking at Sugar Tits?"

In case you fell off the Earth, this is what the liquored up, anti-Semitic Mel Gibson asked his female arresting officer when he was found speeding on the PCH with an open bottle of hooch in his car.

Sugar Tits? Really? How did he come up with that? It has intrigued me for days. Clearly Mel doesn't only have issues with Jews, and authority figures, he also seems to have a problem disrespecting women.

Oh, and in case you can't get that question out of your head either, someone has put it and his mug shot on a T-shirt for you to buy. Geez, it's about time.

**UPDATE** I have since been informed by my wife and sister-in-law that the name "sugar tits" isn't something Mel made up on the fly, but something they've both heard before. How has this passed me by when other, more disguisting things have been revealed to me by my Army buddies?

Chesno Freedom! (aka Screw you HOA!)

My three readers will remember from last month when I spoke of the home owner's association Commies I had to deal with in Albuquerque that wouldn't let me put a flag pole up on my property.

Turns out I am not the only one who has had this problem. Evidently, enough people have been placed under the boot of their respective associations that legislation has drafted and passed. All it needs now is the President's signature.

CJ at http://www.soldiersperspective.us gives us the lowdown that:

"The act was conceived by Congressman Roscoe Bartlett, R-MD, in response to the many home-owners associations popping up across the country refusing to allow Americans to fly their flags on their own property.

U.S. House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) said: 'Every American should retain the right to display the American flag, the very symbol of freedom upon which our nation was founded. Rep. Bartlett should be commended for his leadership on this issue and his work to help preserve the core values of this great country.'”

Darn right. It's sad something like this has to be legislated.

Free eBooks? Chenso!

Have you ever heard of the World eBook Fair? I hadn't until today. They are the largest showcase for eBooks and are celebrating the 35th anniversary of the first step taken toward getting eBooks going.

They have 1/3 of a million eBooks, including mp3 audio books, and from July 4th - August 4th, all are entirely free. Normally this service only costs $8.95/year(cheap!), but this celebratory month, they are all free.

They also have a goal to have 1/2 million books by next year, 3/4 million books by summer 2008, and 1 million books by summer 2009.

Take advantage of this great service. I was able to find tons of books I would enjoy in pdf and mp3 formats.

Chesno Lesson

Q: Do you know what happens when you're a cheap bast***?
A: You end up getting a $3 haircut at a beauty school.

And, let me add that I was over charged for that cut.

You also get an optimistic stylist telling you, "See, you came in and left with a whole new look!"

That whole new look must have been pissedoffedness because I also left with a gift certificate for a free haircut.

Q #2: What is worse than a $3 haircut at a beauty school?
A #2: A free one when you didn't learn your lesson the first time.

Chesno Chai (Tea)

So, I'm going through a bit of a Christmas in July phase right now. Jenn can tell you I've been listening to moody Thanksgiving and Christmastime instrumental music (which I am doing right now at my desk).

Furthermore, in 90 degree (F) weather I got a hankerin' for a cup of peppermint tea (must be in Ukrainian you can't take out of me). So, I made up a cup and put in two generous teaspoons of homegrown honey I took from my bees last Thursday. I could nearly live on this . . . so good.

Chesno Coop

Last night I began building my chicken coop so it would be ready in the spring for new baby chicks.

I tend to "over-engineer" things I build, and follow the advice that you shouldn't build something to fit your current needs, but those you may not even forsee for the future. I didn't realize until I staked out on the ground just how big I planned it though.

It is 24'x16'. 16'x16' for the chickens and 8'x16' for ducks and/or geese. Following these numbers, my new coop should be able to hold:

16'x16': 128 large chickens, or 170 laying hens.

and

8'x16': 43 ducks or 21 geese.

Yup, it's kind of big for what I expect a small flock of 12 hens and a pair or two of geese. Guess I'll have lots of room for storage and my beekeeping equipment which is in the same fenced in area.

Chesno Pole

When we lived in New Mexico in a gated community I petitioned the home owner's association to let me put a flag pole in my yard. They questioned:


~ Why?
~ Where?
~ How tall?
~ What colour?
~ What will it be made of?
~ What will you fly from it?
~ Why are we Commies?
etc . . .

After answering all their questions and going through the whole thing, my petition was turned down. At that point it was my mission to never let anyone (but my wife) dictate to me what I could or could not put in my yard or home. It was also when it was firmed up in my mind that I would like to be spaced a bit further from my neighbors than a 10 foot set back.

For Father's Day last Sunday I got my flag pole. I woke up early this morning and cemented in the base and tonight assembled it. Doesn't it look great? Just try telling me I can't have it there.

Chesno Home

I love where I live. I really do. There are no public buildings where I live other than the church. We have no post office, stores, or anything but neighbors and land. It's wonderful

Do you remember the old farmer from Napoleon Dynamite that shot his cow in the face with a shotgun? This morning before work I met a old man like him.

I was out setting my new flagpole in concrete and he pulled up in a truck. He was removing dams from the ditch and we just started talking.

"So, you're the one who bought Earl's place huh," he asked.

"Yup," I responded. "I guess he had to sell out sometime last year," I added, being kind to the memory of Earl.

"Naw, that guy couldn't keep it in his pants. Having an affair here, another with her, another there. I thought I was going to have to come and straighten him out."

That's why I love the place. The people speak their mind. They wave to you as they drive by. They'll drive to the barn at 10pm to get you the tool you stopped by to borrow. I hope it stays just like it is forever.

If you won't help Screech, who will you help?

OK, so I didn't follow protocol and keep "Chesno" in the title of this entry, and that is just how darn strongly I feel about this.

Our favorite Samuel "Screech" Powers is having his house foreclosed on in Wisconsin and he needs our help and I'm here to give it. He needs $250,000 to save his home so he is selling Save the D-Man's Home T-shirts for $15 a pop (plus $6.50 shipping).

Assuming he makes nothing on the shipping cost. He will need to sell 16,667 of these shirts in 40 days to save his home. Won't you help him? He could use it. Chesno.

231? Chesno.

Before the United States, there was the Army.

On June 14th, 1775 the Army was born. It has served the USA since 13 months and 3 days before the Delaration of Indepenance was signed and continues to do so. I am proud to be a member of this 231 year-old, fine organization and serve the people of our country.

Visit the Official Army Birthday Website.
Photo courtesy of the US Army by Staff Sgt. Carmen Burgess.

Chesno D

Today is June 6th, and the 62nd anniversary (1944) of D-Day. That great and terrible day that began the end of the Nazi occupation in Europe.

Today is a day to remember those who fought so we can be here, so in my family, Thank you to:

Great-grandpa Ashton: Died in WWI in the battle of Paschendaele.

Grandpa Eriksson: WWII disabled veteran of amazing feats.

My Father-in-law: Retired Airforce MI officer.

My Brother Jon: Airforce medical officer.

642nd Maintenance Company: My brothers (and sisters)-in-arms in Iraq.

Thank you.

Chesno Buck

This is my cousin, Julie Buck. She's a great gal with tons of talent, kindness, and passion for what she does. And, she's really good at it too.

She needs some help paying for grad school and we all know how expensive that can be. I had to take a 6 year commitment in the Army to pay for it.

So, she has set up a blog to ask for help with grad school expenses. Please help her out. She's a wonderful person who does great work, and all she's asking for is a "buck".

Chesno Traitor?

So, am I a traitor?

My chances of going to Afghanistan with my Army buddies came to a screeching halt on Sunday when I was told that I had to renounce my Canadian citizenship to get the required top secret security clearance to go. I did not renounce it and now I am not going.

That is probably for the best, but I can't help but feel a bit like a traitor when my brothers-at-arms are going off to battle with our newly-allied Afghani friends, and I am staying home because I pledge allegiance to another country.

But, I guess that's something I have to work out on my own.

Chesno Giardia

So, two days ago I was on one of our little "walking" trips as my co-worker likes to call them. He is quite the fit fellow and his favourite activity to do is go walking. So, to him, hiking is like "extreme walking". [I've used too many quotation marks already in this entry. I will try to control myself from now on.]

So, we are out for work surveying, he for plants, I for wildlife. We are on a 7 hour hike in 90+ degree (F) weather that takes us across MANY canyons, up and down, and up and down again and again.

About 4.5 hours or so into this, I run out of water. We were close to a small remote stream fed by snow melting high above us, so I figured if my choices were to hike for another 2.5 hours in that weather without water, or drink from a stream, I would drink. And drink I did. The water was cold and clear. At least on the macroscopic level.

I don't know what was there in the microscopic level. Could there have been a dead deer laying in the stream half mile up? Could a bear doing one of its famous poops in the woods happen to choose the stream as its location? Could I have just ingested giardia?

We'll see. Giardia has a 7-10 incubation period. Come next Tuesday if I am doubled over with terrible diarrhea and stomach pains, the answer will most likely be, "yes". However, I could probably use the time off of work.

Chesno Geek

Those of you who know me know I have many diverse interests. You probably know I am also a geek.

While I was out this week doing something as manly as flying in a helicopter looking for birds of prey, I had to soil the eveningtime with something truly geeky. I went to three different stores in small Richfield, Utah looking for a Star Trek movie. I finally found Nemesis at a local rental store and actually signed up for a membership I will probably never use again just so I could get a Star Trek fix.

Pathetic.

Chesno Chicks

So, last night I got back from two days of flying in the helicopter looking for raptors . . . again. This time we didn't "go down". I have a serious case of tired butt. Pretty sure that is the medical term for it.

Anyway, we were lucky enough to find a peregrine falcon nest, barn owl nest with eggs, see lots of owls, hawks, and falcons, and tons of golden eagle nests. Most were old and inactive but there were two that we found that each had three chicks similar to the picture included here (similar because these are bald eagle chicks not goldies).

All in all it was a pretty good trip, but I am still recovering from my dramamine "trip". I feel like a am going to fall asleep every 15 minutes. Now I know why the package said "Less Drowsy" and NOT "Non Drowsy". At least they were honest. I was "less" drowsy than certain times in Iraq when I went without sleep for 30+ hours.

Chesno Aspiration?

I found out the other day what happened to our helicopter. According to the pilot, the compressor, "aspirated a foreign object".

What does that mean? Well, that the height we were, there is but one choice. A bird was sucked into the engine and we went down.

We'll see if it happens again. I have Take 2 of helicopter fly time on Monday.

Chesno "Coughs?"

The hour after we returned from Boise on Monday I had to leave on a business trip to south-central Utah to do surveys along proposed oil exploration lines. Part of these surveys involved me going in a helicopter to look for birds of prey and their nesting sites. We do this by flying over mountain tops low to the ground where you can see the nests or the birds as they are flushed from the nests by the helicopter.

We took off on Tuesday morning and flew our first line to survey. We flushed one red-tailed hawk and were just about to begin the next line when the helicopter jolted two times with a bad noise.

Having been shot at while flying in helicopters in Iraq, my immediate reaction was that we had been hit. My co-worker looked back and said, "When we get down, get out fast!" I said, "OK", and braced as the pilot brought the bird down fast. He was able to land softly, but I jumped out quickly. That was when I saw the smoke coming out of the engine.

After we got out, my co-worker climbed to the top of a hill to get cell coverage and the pilot got on his phone. I overheard him say, "We felt two coughs."

"Coughs?" I thought. The engine wasn't coughing, it was more like jolts and smoke, but hey, I'm not the professional. Clearly, we were done flying for the trip. We went about our surveys, but now on foot and the pilot towed the helicopter up to Salt Lake for repairs. I'll let you know when I find out if it has the flu, an allergy or was being examined for testicular cancer. Afterall, it only coughed.

Chesno Easter

I haven't written in a little while because my family took a trip to visit my brother in Boise and then I had a business trip to leave on within an hour of returning. We were there for Easter on the 16th and my 31st birthday on the 17th.

My brother and I come from a family of great cooks. That is what we were looking forward to doing during the visit--cooking together. For Easter dinner after church we made a garlic and fresh rosemary-studded pork loin, mashed potatoes, apple gravy, homemade dill and onion bread, and steamed green beans. I am used to cooking for literally an Army, so I think I may have gone overboard. Evidently, three young girls and two small boys don't each eat a pound of potatoes.

For desert Jon made me his own recipe of dense chocolate cake in four layers with alternating almond paste and seedless raspberry jam all topped with mountains of chocolate frosting.

The easter bunny also showed up and delivered all kinds of treats to the kids. By strange coincidence the adults all found out that sour Starburst jelly beans are about the best easter candy ever made and those nasty Peeps and Cadbury Creme Eggs don't hold a candle to the sour beany goodness Starburst created.

Most importantly, Jon and I were able to talk like adult siblings and friends. This doesn't happen too often as when we are together it is usually in a setting where we are trying to hold the family together and create an environment that (somewhat), resembles holidays of our youth. If not for anything else, that part made the trip a success.

Chesno Hiving

I got a disappointing phone call on the 11th. Turns out that because of rain in California, my bees wouldn't be ready on the 22nd. The date was pushed back a week to the 29th, and maybe even until May. However, if I wanted, there were some extra packages (2.5 pounds of bees + queen), available immediately. I wanted.

My wife was kind enough to drive down to Salt Lake City and pick them up and transport approximately 15,000 buzzing bees an hour and a half back home. No doubt it was mildly intimidating, but she got it done.

That night they arrived home too late to hive, so I did it the next day at lunch time. There were thousands of bees flying around, but they all went to their homes just fine.

It's amazing how many people become interested in this hobby when you tell them that is what you're doing. If your not even the slightest bit interested, don't ask a beekeeper about his hobby, he will drone [delicious pun] on about it for an hour.

Chesno Year

Last night my wife and I were laying in bed and she asked me, "Have we reached the year mark of you being home [from Iraq] yet?"

As a matter of fact, we had. To the day. It was one year ago yesterday when I came home.

She asked, "Are you at a place now that you expected you would be one year from returning?"

I can (and did), honestly reply, "I am." It's been a good year. A fast year, but a good year. We have a new house. We have a new baby on the way. We have a good job. And, we have about 25,000 new bees that will be joining our family on the 22nd. Life is good.

Chesno Varenchiki

This last Sunday my wife, son, and I went to a friend's house for dinner. The house we went to was that of some Ukrainian friends of mine that I knew while I lived in Odessa on the Black Sea. It was mostly a chance to catch up on old friends, and laugh about how rusty my Russian is (as I haven't really spoken in 10 years).

More than all that though, it was a chance for me to gorge myself on the wonderful cuisine of Ukraine including borsch, golopsi, tvorog, and most importantly vareniki s'myasom. The food really is wonderful as long as you stay away from the cold meat jello (holodetz), blood sausages, and raw meatless bacon (salo).

We had a great time, stayed more than 6(!) hours, stuffed ourselves, and I began to bring my Russian back. All in all it was a great night. Plus, we were sent home with enough leftovers that I was able to enjoy it all over again yesterday for both lunch and dinner.